Live Free or Die Tryin

Let’s be honest, ie, to be one with what is. True honesty at it’s best is to simply be. When one receives any sort of tip or gratuity, simply be honest with the result and move along. It’s great to get excited for an abundant tip. One could carry that energy for the rest of the night. On the other hand, it’s difficult to get over a lost or lousy tip. It inflicts our ego when someone didn’t think we were good enough to compensate us for our service. Then start on the why’s of the situation. The funny thing that stems from this is that we already know why. The connection just wasn’t there. That’s just fine for me. I know I can’t please everyone all the time, but as long as I come from love, I can win over more and more people. This is the beginning of the many factors that go into the psychology of tipping.

Expectations lead to disappointment. I’ll just say that right out. People come to restaurants with expectations written all over them. But it’s not their expectations but rather your standard you want to be conscious of. As a server, set a standard for yourself and live up to it. We also have expectations of our guests; like we’re supposed to get 18% on every table no matter what. It’s pure judgement; but only you are only accountable for you. People pay for the food but they buy the service! That’s your queue. When you have a high standard then people will get that through an exchange of energy called service. (Remember how money is energy) They know they are going to buy food but they haven’t determined the gratuity until the fat lady sings. The tip is feedback; priceless!

Service is also considered to be the highest form of love. Think of when you gladly help out the people in your circle of influence; why do you do it? Love is a ‘Give and Receive’ relationship. It’s important to mentally note how the guests are responding to you; what they’re giving and receiving from you and what you are giving and receiving from them. It doesn’t matter how much resistance I receive from my guests, I always come from the space of love and service. This being a cause, to provide great service. The effect: great money. All the steps in between are all the ‘why’s that we beat ourselves up with trying to figure it out. The truth is we’re only paid what we’re worth. We have the capability to be worth more or worth less (worthless) depending upon how we feel about ourselves. Keep cool and unruffled; do not let the opinion of others determine your self-worth.

Once, I received a message on the bill that read “Here’s a tip for you, Scott..” I didn’t even proceed to read the rest of it. I knew it was someone who was angry that I had not lived up to THEIR expectations. I knew that if I had read it and taken it personally, it would have let that person’s opinion affect my self determined worth. Let’s face the facts: that's going to happen no matter what! So why let it be such a burden on yourself? Even with just no tip, feelings of low self worth come into play. I’ve  let such actions ruin my entire night before, even after I’ve left the restaurant. I chose into it.

Choosing to struggle over the ‘why’ of the situation keeps ones energy down. When energy is down, we take it from other people to harness for ourselves. This is called being a taker. In the act of love being a give and receive exchange of energy, being a taker puts a stop to the flow; thus creating a result that people ‘in flow’ don’t want to be around. I’ve spent 20 years of my life stopping flow and not being honest with the results until the past few years. It’s all a matter of perception. Trust yourself to know the answer instead of struggling over it like I have and still sometimes do. Know for a fact that people can feel that judgement of yourself reflecting on them. Every cause has an effect, you want the effect to be making “good money.” The cause lies deep within how you feel about yourself. Be honest and ask yourself “How do I truly feel about myself?”

The first step to living free, or you'll just die trying.

To be continued...

Until next time, Gadget!...